Marriage is a serious commitment. Similarly, the decision to divorce should be taken with as much care as the decision to marry in the first instance. If you are reading this, it’s likely your marriage is in a rough patch. Indeed, every marriage goes through tough times. However, sometimes it is simply impossible to fix a marriage. So how do you really know if it’s time to start thinking about divorce?
Lack of Intimacy
Spouses emotionally checked out of a relationship frequently display a lack of intimacy toward their partner. A lack of intimacy can be a warning sign that a spouse may be cheating. If you’ve tried to initiate sex to no avail, it may be because the other spouse is invested in a physical relationship elsewhere.
We all lie sometimes. We lie to prevent hurt feelings and to prevent conflicts. But if your spouse lies all the time, it may be a sign of a lack of trust toward you and the relationship. It may also be a sign that your spouse is hiding something like an affair or drug addiction.
Finances play a role in approximately 20% of divorce cases. Money is no doubt a major stressor in our lives. However, perpetual financial conflict may indicate red flags. Financial issues may include one spouse’s overspending or their concealment of personal bank accounts or cash. If your spouse is socking money away for no apparent reason, it could be a tell-tale sign that they are fixing to divorce you.
Disagreement on Whether to Have Children
Divorce is appropriate where one spouse wants kids and the other does not. Raising children is a lifetime commitment. Neither party should have to compromise on this issue.
Differences in Parenting Philosophy
Parenting matters can be the source of much conflict in a marriage. Differences in priorities and parenting style indicate that the couple may not share the same fundamental values.
Disagreement Over Extended Family Care
Many spouses find themselves in scenarios where they have to care for an aging parent or ill family member on top of caring for their own children. Many couples disagree on the amount of time and support they should provide said family members.
Persistent Contempt and Criticism
Criticism can be a good thing when it comes from a place of love and understanding. But if your spouse rolls their eyes whenever you speak and is constantly displeased with you, it may indicate they are harboring contempt toward you and the marriage.
Constant disrespect is a fairly large red flag that your spouse is harboring ill-will toward you and the marriage. Like constant criticism, this behavior can manifest through emotional or verbal abuse.
Absence of Emotional and Physical Support
Spouses are obligated to support one another both emotionally and financially. Whether it be a spouse’s refusal to listen to their spouse talk about their day, or a refusal to care for them when sick, a complete lack of support disregards the whole reason people want to be in committed relationships in the first place.
With the rise of social media, emotional cheating is fairly easy to accomplish. If your spouse is carrying on a flirtation or close relationship with another, it may indicate that the marriage no longer provides them with the validation and support they seek.
Having an Affair
Frequently, cheating signals the final phase of marriage before filing for divorce. Some people cheat out of boredom. Others seek a level of physical intimacy that is absent from the marriage. Regardless of the reason, cheating signifies that a spouse has both emotionally and physically checked out.
Many victims of abuse don’t even realize their situation. Emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse. Indeed, persistent emotional abuse can serve as a warning sign that the abuse may escalate to physical harm. Many abusers try to control whom the other spouse can talk to and interact with. They may also use ridicule to tear down their spouse’s self-esteem, making it easier to maintain control.
Physical abuse not only endangers your life, but also the lives of your children. If your spouse has physically assaulted you or your children, know that it is not going to go away unless you take action. For help, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
It may be time for a divorce where you’ve made multiple attempts to reconcile or work things out to no avail.
Many times, a spouse seeks to cure their significant other of their alcohol, drug, or gambling problems. Know that the addicted spouse must take control of their own recovery.
You Argue All the Time
Arguments are natural. But an environment where everyone is in constant conflict isn’t healthy and is a clear indicator of unhappiness.
You Never Argue
When one or both spouses are no longer invested in the relationship, they may cease to care enough to even argue.
Lack of Desire
If you no longer find your spouse attractive, it might be because you are no longer in love with them or no longer believe they are an attractive mate.
You Avoid Interacting with Your Spouse
Whether you don’t like spending time with your spouse or are escaping an abusive situation, constant avoidance of your spouse tends to indicate irreconcilable differences in the marriage. Spouses commonly avoid confrontations where they don’t care enough to try to fix the situation, or where they are fearful of abuse.
When It’s Time to Get a Divorce, Trust an Experienced Tennessee Law Firm to Fight for Your Rights
Divorce is painful and shouldn’t be embarked upon without at least some of the above conditions pervasive in the marriage. When you are ready to take the next steps, contact the family law professionals at Batson Nolan PLC. We represent spouses, single parents, and others throughout Middle Tennessee and Southern Kentucky. We have decades of combined experience representing clients in all family-law-related matters ranging from property settlement negotiations to child custody litigation. Contact Batson Nolan today for a free consultation. We are with you every step of the way.